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Date: Thu, 05 Jan 95 22:30:25 EST
From: blitz <BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
Subject: Re: bubble memories
To: "Krasniewicz, Louise ANTHRO" <Krasniew@anthro.sscnet.ucla.edu>
In-Reply-To: Your message of Mon, 12 Dec 94 08:59:00 PST
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Louise.....I've been mighty sick and so off all lines of communication. some evil visited itself upon me for the past two weeks...for several days in a row I had over 104 degrees..that's no typo, dear. I was one of those that had that special something that spikes high fevers... I won't go into details tonight, but it wasn't pretty. Anyway, 103+ fevers for 5 days after that and then the start of pneumonia settled in...now I'm better—on drugs and tons of sleep and a totally blown "vacation" and very little food (it's amazing how little I ate for 10 days....lost 10 pounds) and evidently not enough fluids, though I pushed...as I ended up slightly dehydrated and am still recovering. Doc thought I ought to have been hospitalized....but I know better....one goes to a hospital to get sick. (or to have babies, maybe). Anyway, I'm about to bed down and then to LI to see my kids; it's been a week since I've been with them. I'll call yhou over the weekend.
Hope you and the two men in yr life are fine.... oh, and yes, I received the NUN on 12/28...it was truly a perfect gift... Cory is absolutely fascinated by it and Daina wants to know why the Nun would continue to read/sing while being snowed upon. I tried to explain an idea of the divine umbrella but it wasn't working any better with her than it would have worked with you.
Believe it or not (I'm ashamed) I've not seen the tapes yet...I've been able to watch no tv for more than a second before my eyes and head begin to hurt....but I will look at them saturday afternoon and will speak to you thereafter or sunday...something for me to look forward to (the viewing and the talking).
If I didn't know better, I'd say I was 89 years old. Oh, speaking of the infirm, Karen (well, she's not the infirm) had Casy put to death— he was becoming more and more "weird" and she claimed he was beginning to snap at people, kids too. I can't say...but I know he was old and in- convenient to her...makes me glad I got out when I did.
Anyway, poor old Casey...b. 1982, murdered, er, died, 1995....survived the leap from the Triboro, the running over by an Albany cab, the attack by a pack of albany doberman pincers, the ingestion of an aluminum can and a half-box of brillo, and the being hit by a LI chrysler New Yorker...but unable to survive a domestic partnership with Karen....who could have predicted....?
Good night, LK.... and good night Sister of the Driven Snow...
love, Michael
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TO: BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU DATE: 01-06-95
TIME: 16:07
SUBJECT: burned up
so sorry to hear you were melting these last days—I have beenstruggling with visitors since XMAS day and then spent 4 days in San Francisco (actually 2 days there for the Mac computer show and two days traveling because I won't fly). Anyway I will not give any details here but look forward to spilling my guts during a Saturday talk. We have baby class till 1pm so call on later side or leave me a message and I will call back when I get home.
Till then, electronic chicken soooooouuupppps should flow your way
love
lk
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TO: AA MICHAEL DATE: 01-13-95
TIME: 09:58
SUBJECT: nothing
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Just checking in and giving you a reason to get back on email. I am under the weather (both literally— it has rained for days here) and figuratively (I have a mean cold that won't give up). But otherwise all is well.
Respondez
LK
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Date: Fri, 13 Jan 95 21:14:47 EST
From: blitz <BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
Subject: Re: nothing
To: "Krasniewicz, Louise ANTHRO" <Krasniew@anthro.sscnet.ucla.edu>
In-Reply-To: Your message of Fri, 13 Jan 95 10:18:00 PST
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just returned from LI, w/kids...they are now sleeping a-bunk in the "next" room (I cannot recall if you have seen my apartment). It's been a grueling week— finishing the mini-course, calculating out very grim finances, still fighting off my own miscellaneous bacterio-viruses... dealing w/an ever-impressively callous Karen. . . and most recently the news that my friends Jody and Cal are leaving Brooklyn to move to Elmira (Cal just landed an excellent design-job at Corning). That's a real blow for me, I'm afraid. Normally, we all get together several times a week and their son is like my nephew. I don't know, Louise. My friends are all at least 100s of miles away; the woman I love is married and lives in another country; I'm on the brink of bankruptcy which means I'm always working to stay out of bankruptcy. Is this supposed to be my life?
Sorry, of course, to unload such drek on you. And sorry, too, that you are visited by the ague. I got yr phone message tonight that you spoke with Interval... & I'll get the dope from you soon...
Watched those two videos— they really were a blast. I especially like The Unauthorized Autobiography of Consciousness—-it's got so much intrigue. It also feels like the tip (and a little more) of the iceberg— I'll bet you'd like to have been able to make it a 45 minute film.
The Pregnant Man video was also a kick... and in many ways, it's the more "convincing" film— I can easily see it being picked up by one venue or an- other—- it works better as the self-contained kind of morsel it is.
I'm tired and somewhat discouraged by things at the moment, so I'm going to sign off. It really sucks to be poor, I'll tell you. Gee, I guess I don't work hard enough.
Good night, Dr. Krasniewblitz.
lots of love, nevertheless,
Michael
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Message-Id: <9501160400.AA29110@sscnet.ucla.edu>
Date: Sun, 15 Jan 95 22:57:21 EST
From: blitz <BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
Subject: experiment
To: krasniew@anthro.sscnet.ucla.edu
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hey, just testing some macro-bizniz on the communications software/ mainframe, etc... if this gets to you, just means I've made my job a wee bit easier.
sorry if the previous e-mail dripped too much with angst... but you know me...mr. drippy.
cough cough...
hope yr own influenzas aren't making you anxious (the book Harold Bloom
failed to write— perhaps too nervous)
love, M.
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TO: BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU DATE: 01-17-95
TIME: 15:51
CC:
SUBJECT: experiment
PRIORITY:
ATTACHMENTS:
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yes I got this experiment, whatever it was. I am feeling better so have no complaints at the moment. it is the first anniversary of the earthquake and that Japan thing is making me nervous.
Got confirmation yesterday that Voyager is putting out the CD-Rom with our thing in February. No contract yet— they are doo-doos sometimes. Anyway, talked to woman at Interval Research about our "awards" and she was understanding— we will keep the awards, as I told her, for our museum of weird things!!
I have to send in more corrections to them on crediting the thing, describing our work, and getting my name spelled right. This never ends.
Yes, this is your life but things change and I see a whole new future as soon as you get over a few "minor" hurdles!! (have I taken up fortune telling since I have no academic career left????)
Oh well, we go to baby classes, wait for the earth to shake, I grow and indigestion mounts. How dull. Off to do something but not eat cookies since I have to swear off sugar for a while.
love and bits of worthless advice,
lk
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TO: AA MICHAEL DATE: 01-20-95
TIME: 21:26
CC:
SUBJECT: psychology everyday
PRIORITY:
ATTACHMENTS:
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It really pleased me to see how up you were after the Psychology Today interview. The stuff you told them sounded neat and I hope they use lots of it. Better spell your name right, though!!
I sit and contemplate our impending birth— I believe it has to do with the fact that they delivered the crib today and I realized that it ain't gonna stay empty forever. We are apparently going to have a baby shower with 100 people invited— is this obsessive or what?? Fortunately all I have to do is show up and open things.
Hmmmmmm, I complain to Richard often that I fear loss of identity with theis baby coming but he rightly points out that since I haven't really decided what my identity is, it is hard to lose it. Good point but I have the feeling I will give up searching. Please keep me on track. okay??
oh well, off to do some computer graphics
lk
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Message-Id: <9501212122.AA05660@sscnet.ucla.edu>
Date: Sat, 21 Jan 95 16:16:03 EST
From: blitz <BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
Subject: Re: psychology everyday
To: "Krasniewicz, Louise ANTHRO" <Krasniew@anthro.sscnet.ucla.edu>
In-Reply-To: Your message of Fri, 20 Jan 95 21:55:00 PST
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Dear ...uh.... future mother of uh....
About that identity thing.... uh, well, whatever. Yeah.
Why don't we both just change our last names to Schwarzenegger and then periodically change our first names to suit the prevailing project and/or mood. So, for example, a couple of years ago, I might have been Winona Schwarzenegger——- you could have been either Ken or Tobey Schwarz-enegger.
Could Arnold object? Might this get us an interview? I mean, affter all, not even Maria whatshername changed her name.....
A 100-person baby shower ought to produce sufficient giftage as to necessitate yr building a wing on the house.
I think my feeling good after the Psychotic-Today interview had mostly to do with the idea that someone was interested in having a conversation about stuff I'm interested in who was not in reality interested in becoming my wife, my ex-wife, my tormentor, or a figment of wishful thinking.
The only identity crisis you need worry about is one in which you fail, continually, to be self-identical.
love (but I'll try not to cough on you),
Michael
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TO: BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU DATE: 01-27-95
TIME: 12:20
CC:
SUBJECT: gulp
PRIORITY:
ATTACHMENTS:
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I had a weird Arnold dream again— gotta keep the ole factory of the absurd
going:
Januray 25, 1995
I am Jamie Lee Curtis getting ready to be in a film with Arnold. It is required that I have no hair on my body. Several people are helping shave me, putting on chemicals, and using wax to get it all off. Arnold is using big tweezers to pluck some hairs. Someone grabs me and starts to clip the hairs around my anus. Then they shave me there. Suddenly I am done and I show Arnold my long, beautiful hairless legs.
Then I am myself and I am back home looking out through the window of our house. We live down the street from Arnold. A limo goes by with many people in it. Are they going to Arnold's or the wedding down the street? I have a formal gown on and I walk down to Arnold's to find out. The church is next to Arnold's house at the end of the cul de sac. My sister points out to me that the church is really just an apartment building with towers on it.
more to come
lk
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TO: BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU DATE: 01-27-95
TIME: 12:27
CC:
SUBJECT: Re: psychology everyday
PRIORITY:
ATTACHMENTS:
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part 2 of dream
I look down a set of steep stairs and see women in colonial American dress— they are part of the wedding catering staff. Ther are also little boys in costume and when the little gorls and women see them, the women and girls all rush down to greet them.
I wonder if anyone knows this is Arnold's house nearby. Some of the girls in costume go up to the door and see mailboxes that say Arnold Scxhwarzenegger and Maria Shriver. They try to go in but the servants say no. They go to tell the other kids. I walk away smiling. My sister says her friends are going to Canne this year for the film festival because they ahve a bit part in a movie. I said we could have gone last year but didn't. As we try to go home, we have to go through a building hwhere the doorways are blocked by furniture. I am testy but we move the furniture out od the way and keep going.
okay, another one for the books. I belive the first, making-me-hairless part is real weird and has a lot to do with getting ready for baby l's delivery. but still, it is sicko— i love it
soon,
lk
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Message-Id: <9501280429.AA04784@sscnet.ucla.edu>
Date: Fri, 27 Jan 95 23:11:46 EST
From: blitz <BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
Subject: anal fuzz
To: krasniew@anthro.sscnet.ucla.edu
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Hmmm...whenever I've had to shave my anus the razor gets....ok, never
mind.
Yep, you are THE dreamer...you're the one, now. You had it all...a shaving, a wedding, a refusal, film stuff, siblings, furniture. . . you've success- fully redecorated your life.
I'm ashamed to report that the only recent Arnold Dream I've had was mid-week, in which I was delivering eye-glasses to "the needy" along Atlantic Ave. in B'lyn. A rather plump, somewhat effeminate guy appeared along side of me; he was roller-blading, wearing tight lavender (I think) spandex bib-shorts with no shirt. He really was pretty chubby and lisped with what I took to be an Irish accent (he had reddish hair and absolutely huge nipples. My backpack was stuffed full of eye glasses, some of which I knew to be fragile and so I was feeling somewhat burdened by my burden. The skater was slowing down to stay apace with me and this, too, felt burdensome I knew he would strike up a conversation if I looked remotely interested, so I pretended to be concentrating extremely hard on the clipboard I was carrying. The guy was skating way too close to me now and so I said, "don't make a big mistake. Hit the road."
He giggled and from his giggle I realized he had a german accent. As I'm thinking this, he said "don't think you know a thing about me." In the same instant that I realized this was Arnold AND that he was outrageously NOT what anyone (including you and I) had ever believed him to be, he began to change and became William Shatner (in looks) but with a german accent. At that point, I suddenly realized that I, too, was on roller blades and began to lose my balance. I awoke clutching one of my pillows.
OK, no shaving and no long smooth legs offered up as human sacrifice, but
there was a momentary promise of perverse sexuality.
Karen enrolled Daina in Sunday (Hebrew) school without consulting me. I was pissed (not just that I now cannot have the kids overnight Saturdays but because I see it as a major decision for which we have to consult). Her reaction to my reaction was 'what's the big deal? I didn't think you'd care one way or another.'
And the irony is, she said "Religion was never as important to you as it is to me." The truth is that she knows next to nothing about religion, and not even that much about Judaism. She is right that I have far less of that religious stomach-disturbance that some feel who know little but have been convinced that they ARE a particular creed. But I've always read about, and thought through, not only "my" religion, but (for obvious reasons) Islam, Buddhism, Christianity, even Catholicism for Christ's sake! And she knows this— or maybe she just doesn't. And so, at 6 yrs old, Daina joins the faithful. What does Daina think of all this? It was her idea; her good friend is enrolled and sold Daina on the idea....and I know that Daina loves school and its stuff. But Karen's lame excuse "It's what Daina wanted" implies that Karen couldn't say no. I said that I would have advised Daina to wait a year or so— she's so bloody busy with stuff -most of which is reasonably healthy (except, maybe, Brownies). I wouldn't have just said OK, whatever you want,, etc.
My guess is that Karen knew I'd be annoyed/put off by this...and so the antagonism goes on... how strange that the one who got it all from this separation continues to operate as though she's been wronged.
What, me pissed?
Ah well, dream on
M the B.
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TO: BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU DATE: 02-02-95
TIME: 08:54
CC:
SUBJECT: OJ Dreams
PRIORITY:
ATTACHMENTS:
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Of course OJ dreamed about killing his wife, we knew that!!! The real question is, did he kill her and just think it was a dream? Ohhhh, OJ, you have everything all mixed up.
Well I had another Arnold dream last night:
I had a dream that went on for a while before Arnold appears on a tv as an announcer for the third segment of a program on computer graphics. The second segment just featured Art Linkletter and said that he didn't do computer graphics and anyway he died last year. Arnold is supposed to represent the future in his segment.
Well, that's it— not moving but what the hell...
I am a blimp with another month of blimphood to come... is it really possible for the human body to do this weird thing???
So where are you? What do you think of OJ dreams and how can we use this— it seems that everyone here on the news is obsessing on it!!
lk
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Message-Id: <9502050215.AA15127@sscnet.ucla.edu>
Date: Sat, 04 Feb 95 21:08:26 EST
From: blitz <BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
Subject: Re: OJ Dreams
To: "Krasniewicz, Louise ANTHRO" <Krasniew@anthro.sscnet.ucla.edu>
In-Reply-To: Your message of Thu, 02 Feb 95 09:24:00 PST
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I overheard a remark on the subway re: the O.J. trial etc...
"I'm so sick of this O.J. shit. If you hold the headlines up to the mirror, you can see that the man is a JerkOff."
I'm here. I'm here.
Doing battle with a cold and a neverending neverendingness. Hoooey...this winter has nearly done me in.
Thanks for the cd rom catalogue... haven't perused too much of it, but it sure makes me wistful for appropriate hardware.... my SE is beginning to get nervous. (It has nothing to worry about. My accountant tells me not to purchase "anything" for the next 3 and a quarter years.
Pataki's new budget is grim for NYC... JJC's president is warning us that for the first time since 1976, there will be retrenchment— actual breaks in tenure (approx. 45 fac & or staff are under the knife).
Fears abound. And you...you're about to bring yet another young professor into the world....ah well, how can I compete?
Say hi to ricky r...and tell Mrs. L "kishe mein tuchus" well...ok, don't.
love and just enough yiddish to justify the chicken-fat-soaked pathos of of so many of my postings.
M.
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TO: BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU DATE: 02-05-95
TIME: 10:19
SUBJECT: He's back
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Despite my every exploding body and bloated hands, I continue to work on Arnold in a passive way. Here is the latest dream (do you ever think I make these up?? How could we ever know, except that I am not THAT creative...)
2-4-95
All these people making a movie are staying at my and Arnold's house (which is really the housse I grew up in). I am in the bathroom, just standing there. Someone knocks and wants to come in. I knock a flush knob off the wall, put it back on and then flush the toilet, even though it is empty. Someone has left a gold alarm clock in the shower and it is all wet. I walk out and Arnold is coming out of the bedroom. I out my hands on his trim waist and gently guide him back into the room. Some guy with a moustache rolls over in the bed on the far wall, but I don't care he is there because I am feeling romantic. But Arnold is angry. Showing me some test results he says, "What is this?" It is a test that says that I have two babies, one I am carrying and one that the lab kept and is growing. I explained that it was part of their research deal where they kept one for their "fertility enhancement program." We realize we will have to get the other baby back.
So, as you suspected, Arnold is really the progenitor of my offsping-to-be. It was inevitable that I would finally be able to admit it.
I have been streesed lately (not becauuse of my darling Arnold) but because I am alone and have lots to do and Richard's mother keeps delivering unpleasant messages like " I think it is a waste of money for you to hire help with the baby— you can do it yourself" and "I think you should stop breastfeeding after three months." Yeah, like your advice would convince me to do anything, lady!!!! I shall breast feed, now that she has said that, until the kid is 10 and waste all my money hiring butlers and maids and nannies like them rich folk do!!!
Sorry you are i; and have to listen to this but I have decided after serious bouts of crying that I have nothing to give to anyone this month— I will only focus on myself and whine and crab as much as I want!!!! I wonder if anyone will notice the difference???
Till the crabs all leave the shore,
love still
lk
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TO: AA MICHAEL DATE: 02-15-95
TIME: 07:23
SUBJECT:
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Well??? or not?
I am expanding and exploding, anxious for it all to be over/to get started.
Help— what have we done??
lk
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Date: Wed, 08 Mar 95 21:35:20 EST
From: blitz <BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
Subject: Re: no baby yet
To: "Krasniewicz, Louise ANTHRO" <Krasniew@anthro.sscnet.ucla.edu>
In-Reply-To: Your message of Sun, 05 Mar 95 18:50:00 PST
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Hmmmm....I've been wondering...
try a drive down a pot-hole riddled street (Karen insisted on this)
or, many staircases,
or, prayer to patron saints,
or,
or,
or...
so, um, let me know.....eh?
lots of love and anticipation (sorry, can't help it...it's just so hard
to believe!), M.
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TO: AA MICHAEL DATE: 03-29-95
TIME: 11:09
SUBJECT:
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Hey there
hope you feel better,here is a dream I had a while ago that you should know about:
MARCH 6
Arnold was making a new film and I was watching the first scene. Arnold put his bulging biceps into a metal cuff and the camera zooms in on it to identify him. Later we are told that one of Arnold's relatives is giving advice on investing money. Outside there are two lines of people waiting to talk to her. The first line of people sits in chairs at the curb. Arnold is in the third chair. I am in the second line. We sit with out backs to the first line, closer in on the sidewalk. I have a 12:00 appointment but it is clear I will not get to talk to her on time.
Someone calls a break for lunch and we all go into a restaurant. Someone wants me to take care of all the kids in strollers but I refuse. Arnold is near a phone and I go over and tell him I am tired of waiting to get my financial advice. He strokes my hair once as my brother walks by and looks. Arnold says, "You are blushing" and I say, "It is the blush of a woman who is none months blus pregnant."
Later we are advised how to answer questions from the press and Arnold's mothers assures us that the correct answer to a particular question is masturbation. I wear a gorgeous red gown to the event which impresses everyone eventhough my bra straps keep showing. I hope Arnold is impressed by the dress. Someone gets a group of women together to deny that Arnold's mother said that masturbation was the correct thing to say. She whispers the real answer in my ear but I can't understand her.
Well there it is- the last dream before I went into labor. If masturbation is not the answer, what Is???
lk
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Message-Id: <9504071321.AA04591@sscnet.ucla.edu>
Date: Fri, 07 Apr 95 08:57:26 EDT
From: blitz <BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
Subject: flying
To: krasniew@anthro.sscnet.ucla.edu
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Hi, Louise: I've been buried beneath piles of school work and manuscripts to review for a journal for which I'm on the Ed.Board....not to mention the ongoing angst of a stupid life (ok, I've mentioned it).
As for flying out to you, I fear I'll have to hold off until July— I hope this will be ok with you— I'd like to come for more than 2 days so you and I can play and get some work done— truly, we need to be able to write cool stuff in the room at the same time, and the rush of a couple of days seems, at this point, too crazy for me. Plus, I want to study Drew for evidence of primate vision.
I await, a bit half-heartedly, news from NYFA regarding a small grant— As ever, $$ are an ache of lack— and the "latest" is that a woman I'd gone out with and who likes me as well as I like her (which is pretty well, but just so) told me that she really likes me and would love to see me again, but to be "up front" she is looking for a husband and she fears the "economics" of someone like me. Oy. Besides the fact that I am not looking for a wife at the moment (partner, maybe, but jeez), I can do nothing about the "economic" factor....I'm bloody poor and that sucks and now it's plain that people aren't going to want to deal with a guy who has a good job that seems to pay so little and who pays out 1/3 of every dollar to his kids' mother. . . I'm discouraged by what this means, Louise. I hate the fact that money has become a daily worry about which I can do next to nothing (should I work three jobs and do them all badly?)
What ever became of the CD Rom? Have you seen it? And? The May issue of Psych Today isn't out yet, and I've got the feeling that, as with nearly all the Arnold stuff, my(our) words will disappear. Ah, I see that my mood blackens even as I write.
I really do miss you, Louise, and I'm sorry to be so out of touch over days and weeks. I don't mean to be a "bad" friend— things just pull me in so many directions and they don't seem side-steppable (my kids are involved in many things now and my time with them is fragmentary and often complicated by Daina's more frequent questioning of why I only visit instead of live with her. Every time I see Karen I am filled with poison over how it's gone and over how I was too poor to keep a decent lawyer long enough to prevent me from becoming poor.)
And this semester, I'm teaching a double-overload (2 extra sections, so extra preps and a half-ton of extra students) to try to recover from a devastating tax "situation" in which I had to pay big-time. I don't know how to get out of this muck. I'm trying to get another book contract so I can go up for Full Prof.— it's the only way I've a prayer of drawing a salary that will not be gone before the month's out.
Gee, aren't I a streak of light on a dark day? How IS your newest pupil? Send photos soon, please. I'll call you one night soon so we can blab and make some plans for a summer visit— you tell me when's good.
Also, are you at all interested in Next March's women's history month gallery-space for women-related art? There's very little $$ available, and maybe it would cover little of your expenses, but if you are going to be on the east-coast at some point thereabouts, you could get a month-long show in our central lobby gallery (you need only attend the opening—you could arrange with me to do the hangings). Last year, my friend Jody had a photography installation of her large color works (18 x 24) and sold a couple of pieces. Anyway, it's something to ponder.
Your Arnold dream was mighty fitting. I have not had one in a while, though I did dream I was summoned to remove a plutonium rod from Hillary Clinton's head. She was in jolly spirits, joking about my credentials (which are funny) while I was wondering how I was supposed to touch plutonium without getting contaminated.
I'm going to pick up the kids now. More, before long (that is, more communication with you, not more kids)
much love, Michael
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TO: BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU DATE: 04-10-95
TIME: 11:53
SUBJECT: flying
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so so so so pleased to hear from you. i have been feeling postpartum neglect from everyone— like i developed a plague that they fear catching (especially the ones who don't want kids). The Drewmeister is still cool and funny. A trip out here in July would be great— May is getting booked up with family visits. Be aware that we are going to the east coast for July 2 and a few days before and after for family visits and my neice's graduation party. So later in July is better and we would have so much stuff to play with. I gave a talk yesterday in Anaheim about Disneyland— an hour and a ahlf in front of a group of continuing ed administrators. It actually was fun because I made a spoofy video of my former student Bryan reading Baudrillard's SIMULATIONS in the car on the way down to Disneyland. We could easily do things better than that....
I would love to do an exhibit for Women's History month— I would even do new works for it in keeping with the theme— I like that kind of themnatic challenge. Let's get the details worked out— I could come for the opening and maybe do a workshop or talk in your classes. Let me know....
What else— oh, another Arnold dream
DREAM 4-9-95
I am an extra in Arnold's latest movie. During a break in the shooting I go for a walk and notice a big mansion in the distance that they are using for a shot. I realize it is Arnold and Maria's house. Suddenly I look left and Arnold is walking next to me, smiling. He said he wants a woman like me in the movie. We lay down to talk and someone delivers massive amounts of pills which he starts to take. I peek at the label and readize it said AIDS and SIDS in it. Arnold has AIDS but is very casual about it. I think about what the headlines will look like when he dies of AIDS. I decide not to eat the rest of the baked beans that Arnold has left on his plate. one more for the books— hope you enjoy it and watch out for the beans.
by the way, any woman who says she is out LOOKING for a husband is 1. not going to get one and 2. is too creepy to contemplate and 3. sounds too anxious for me and perhaps for you. It ain't your lack of money, babe, it is the lack of charming women that makes life so difficult!
Words of wisdom by
lk
with love
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Date: Mon, 10 Apr 95 22:54:29 EDT
From: blitz <BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
Subject: drew
To: krasniew@anthro.sscnet.ucla.edu
———————————————————————————————————————
Cute babe, babe. Loved that video-toasted flip-flik. And you look properly radiant and motherly.
Love that dream, too— you get Arnold into bed faster and faster— and how wild is it that he'd be: 1. pill-popping; 2. suffering w/AIDS (or NOT suffering, as the case seemed to be); 3. still looking to cast you in his "film" plans. . .
Thanks for your as-usual supportive counter-tactical thoughts on the "wendy" factor— though I suspect she will find a husband (not like me, though) and will, in fact, have her economic load lightened.
Alas, I'm altogether still torch-struck by the way-too-married Masturah who calls more frequently to tell me she thinks about me all the time, now and misses me. . .
well, hello.
more soon. Oh, and don't you love the sidonie book? It's special.
Any news of the cd-rom disk?
hello?
love, Michael
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TO: BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU DATE: 04-12-95
TIME: 14:27
SUBJECT: huh?
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what sidonie book???? is it out or were you just being sarcastic??? did you get a copy???? that would be especially interesting if it has not yet been published!!!!!
i just got a call from voyager and once again they lost one of my files— what idiots. anyway, they claim the cd-rom is coming out the second week in may. we are living in the vapour-ware world— no sidonie book, no cd-rom, no psychology today— what is going on here??
drewmeister is in a phase he wants to eat/suckle constantly. that leaves me literally drained and not able to work on the computer except with one hand (hence no caps!!).
i am going to send the morphing paper out after i get one done for the american anthropologist. it will go either to visual anthro review or to a journal called material culture. these will be the last of my attempted publications— i give up on academic stuff. they have won.
bye
i am tired and hope some of these things come through because i need a boost to my fragile career ego
lk
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Date: Wed, 12 Apr 95 23:05:31 EDT
From: blitz <BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
Subject: Re: huh?
To: "Krasniewicz, Louise ANTHRO" <Krasniew@anthro.sscnet.ucla.edu>
In-Reply-To: Your message of Wed, 12 Apr 95 14:45:00 PDT
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Dearie— it's 11 pm and I've just finished, during my day off, a series of dull and duller meetings at JJC in which one suit after another pretended to be precisely who he pretends to be every other day in this pretend environment of the pretend academy. I realize, again and again, that I can't be who I say I am nor can I say who I pretend to be. I'm not pretending anymore. I'm going to shut up. Today I told a colleague who is the embodiment of evil "Arlene, when you talk to me, I feel like you are really hitting me in the head with a hammer. And so I don't want to listen to you anymore, even if you put the hammer away."
Ho hum.
So, 5-card-Drew's drawing his rations reg'lar? That's his job. Babies are, as Delueze and Guattari said (of humans), eating/shitting machines (sleep too, we add later).
I think the Academy is really the contestant half of Jeopardy— frantically spewing out answers to questions no one is asking and no one would under- stand even if they were asked.
but I need this job. Doesn't that suck?2
Next year, in the Thematic Studiies Prog. (yep, I'm leaving the English dept. for a year or two) I'm teaching courses called "The Thrill" "The Literature of Time and Space" and the team taught theme lecture, The Individual And Society. I'm shopping for Thrill ideas (and time and space stuff, too)— any of your excellent thoughts would be excellent (i.e. films, books, articles, things....etc.)
I'm going to sleep now because a man like me ought to get his 10 hours a week no matter what.
Don't let the sun catch yr lovely ego cryin'......
Michael
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Date: Thu, 13 Apr 95 18:57:17 EDT
From: michael <BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
Subject: dreamboat
To: krasniew@anthro.sscnet.ucla.edu
———————————————————————————————————————
Howdy.
I dreamed: you were in town, called me from a payphone "down the block"— said, "Um, Dr. Blitz, is there a motorccyle in front of yr house?"
I was puzzled and said, "Louise?" You cracked up and said "look out your window" which I did. There was a humungous, bright red Harley sitting on the sidewalk in front of my apartment. You were no where in sight.
As I was admiring the hog, you stroll up arm in arm with Arnold on one side and Richard on the other. Richard had gotten very fat and seemed somehow shorter than Arnold, nearly your height. I was very happy to see you and hugged you, commenting that "you feel like you're made of steel." Richard groaned, and Arnold beamed, saying "You got a good name!"
You told me the bike was Arnold's but he had given it to you. Since you wouldn't ride one, you asked him if you could give it to me. He had told you he would have to meet me first.
Later, we were in my apartment and you were repainting cool designs on all my walls. Arnold was gone, but Richard was pacing slowly, groaning. I asked him how he'd been and he got pissed off. You stopped painting to referee. Richard said "Your hero did this to me!" I had no idea what he was talking aboiut, which you saw, so you said "Michael, Arnold got Richard pregnant." Then you turned back to painting, and I thought you might be trying not to laugh. I was shocked and didn't understand. I started saying someting like "but that can't happen in real life..."
Richard was, suddenly, cooking a wok full of vegetables and you were showing me some slides of your work. Jody and Cal came over to meet you, and were delighted to find Richard in this condition and were asking him lots of prenatal type questions. He was trying to be civil but I could tell he was nearly exploding with irritation.
I offered "drinks and pretzels" all around and Richard began guzzling scotch and chowing down pretzels like he hadn't eaten for years. You looked alarmed. Jody and Cal were tending to Lucas who, oddly, had not interested Richard at all (I found it odd that a pregnant man would express no interest in someone else's baby). You told me Richard had just been turned down for a Fullbright to Antartica because they didn't allow "men with child" to be exposed to the elements. So you were going to go and had come to NY to ask me if I wanted to go. I said "Yeah!" Somehow I got Richard, Jody and Cal to agree to share the baby-sitting of Daina and Cory while I was away. Richard looked somewhat more interested in my kids...he was looking at pictures of Cory and smiling.
I'll bet Ricardo finds this dream worthy of a snort or two.
How're you doing? I loved that birth announcement. I've shown it to lots of people. You are the clever one....that's why I'm going to Antartica with you.
lots of love, Michael
==========================================================================>
Message-Id: <9504160148.AA20965@sscnet.ucla.edu>
Date: Sat, 15 Apr 95 21:39:02 EDT
From: blitz <BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
Subject: pins
To: krasniew@anthro.sscnet.ucla.edu
———————————————————————————————————————
Hi, hon
I dreamed I was watching a bowling tournament— my brother (who actually was, long ago, a semi-professional bowler!) and his team were waiting impatiently for their competition. My brother was drinking lots of budweisers and looking toward me, as though I had something to do with the immediate problem. The opposing team arrived— a bunch of loud-mouthed hooligan types— one was Marc Gastineu, the other two were non-descript musclebound frenchmen (I remembered, in the dream, "oh yeah, the french are supposed to be great bowlers") and Arnold S. (yep.).
My brother didn't look at all surprised— in fact, I don't think he knew who he was bowling against—though he and his team mates all recognized Gastineau who was, as he usually did as an active football player and after, acting like a jerk.
Arnold had ridiculously ornate bowling shoes and wore a high-tech half-glove for his bowling hand. His ball had been specially made and was, as the guys were all commenting, an unbelievable 50 pounds. (I think the heaviest normal bowling ball is 16 lbs).
Jed started and got a strike, as did all the first framers. Arnold (predictably crushed the pins with his shot, and immediately ordered a round of beers for both teams. He yelled to the waitress "Hey, vooman, bring uss some beeeuhs. And no mawr ahf dis pooosy shit" as he tossed a huge handful of empty bud-bottles.
The dream shifted to where the tournament was, I guess over. I don't know how it turned out, but Arnold was furious with one of his own teammates who was evidently arguing that bowling wasn't a fitness sport. Arnold kept saying "loook at dese biceps, you asshole!" For some reason, Marc Gastineau spotted me in the "audience" and was furious. He hurled his beer bottle at me, which scared me into waking up.
————
Note: "Jed" is my brother.
"Arnold" is the overlord.
love, M.
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TO: BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU DATE: 04-16-95
TIME: 21:28
CC:
SUBJECT: pins
PRIORITY:
ATTACHMENTS:
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i tried to send a reply to your last dream but got booted off the computer because i got a phone call. i am now just getting back and lo and behold, another dream! you are being wonderfully prolific. richard did not take kindly to being impregnated by arnold—spoil sport! i guess one kid is enough for him. anyway, these dreams are a hoot— thanks— they will make great minimovies for a cd-rom.
i am not getting any work done and fear that the few opportunities i now have to get things published are fading away but i will still plug along. richard goes to belize on saturday for two weeks. i am both pissed and upset about his leaving—i will be crying on your shoulder about this, i am sure. i don't see how he can leave our cute little baby but i guess duty calls.
arnold has been charged in a paternity suit in texas— 12 years ago he bopped someone who now wants money to treat her sick child. sounds like good stuff.
i have the urge to go bowling— actually, no lie, i have had that urge for the past week— don't know why— but it obviously got transmitted to you. you never did tell me what your comment about sidonie meant— is the book out or not??????
till i bowl a strike
love
lk
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Message-Id: <9504171238.AA29443@sscnet.ucla.edu>
Date: Mon, 17 Apr 95 08:16:48 EDT
From: blitz <BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
Subject: Re: balls and/or strikes
To: "Krasniewicz, Louise ANTHRO" <Krasniew@anthro.sscnet.ucla.edu>
In-Reply-To: Your message of Sun, 16 Apr 95 21:49:00 PDT
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No, Sidonie's book ain't been seen nor aheard.
No, I also don't understand how Dr. L. could fly away at such a time, but I don't understand many things.
No, Drew is too young to take up bowling.
No, Arnold did not impregnate me 12 years ago in Texas.
I dreamed I designed a line of ceramic dishes called de Kooning-wear, not because they looked like W. de K's paintings (which they sort of did), but because his daughter was footing the bills for my design. I was vaguely aware that I should not be dealing with a woman who tried to take her father's estate away from him before he was completely dead.
When you say Richard wasn't pleased to be impregnated by Arnold, do you mean that (a) he didn't enjoy the contents of the dream; (b) he didn't enjoy the fact that I had dreamed this; (c) he didn't enjoy the idea of being impregnated and failed to realize that he was doing literal interpretation of a dream's "mobile army of metaphors". .. or (d) some other version of Richard's incredible run of dream-disdain?
As long as you are feeling unproductive (and Jeez, Louise, you just produced a beautiful babe— you have been as productive as a humanoid can be! Stop beating yrself up about not working; you ARE working), let me know if you think of any cool stuff for me to attempt in my two interdisciplinary Thematic Studies courses (I'm looking forward to being out of the English department for at least a year)
1. The Thrill (I'm team teaching this with a psychology PhD student who was, 6 years ago, an independent study student of mine as she worked on her CUNY BA degree. She also used to be a professional stand up comedian). We plan to deal with mass media, music, drugs, sex, rock n roll, pornography, etc...Do you know of some good readings, sightings we might use? How about some film recommendations? I'dlike to show at least three films during the semester (classes meet once/week for 2.5 hours). We can also take field trips.
2. The Literature of Time and Space (I'm teaching this alone, but I'm encouraged to give it an interdisciplinary slant). I'm looking for film ideas here, too (maybe I'll use An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge, or Wild STraberries, or...Total REcall? The Terminator? Any ideas??)
My third class is the Theme A Lecture (there's a Theme B group of courses taught to Thematic Studies Program students in their second year of the prog) which is entitled The INdividual and Society. I'm team teaching this one with an Historian, a Sociologist, and a Musician. The musician, Geoff Fairweather, is a Carribean drummer who seems too cool to be in a university, but what does that say about the rest of us? Anyway, he's got good ideas, and he and I like working together. The other two are good, too, though the sociologist, typically, seeems to know only limited things outside his own little spere of textuality. Much to everyone's surprise, I proposed a three week ethnography project in which students would form small social groups and go to elevators in all sorts of public buildings and observe people's reactions to them— (they will read, for example, Brent Staples' "Black Men in Public Spaces.")
The surprise was because I seemed to know something about ethnography and popular culture and writing, etc..... you know, an english professor's mainly gonna know about, uh, english.
It's monday, but I've got my kids for an extra couple of days— I'm off to pick them up and bring them back to B'lyn. Karen may actually pick them up tomorrow from here (!) because she wants to take them to the zoo. At first she seemed reluctant (as always) because, I'm guessing, she had planned to have her boyfriend with her and wasn't prepared for the first face-off. What she doesn't know, but no doubt suspects, is that his easy access to MY children makes me want to grind his face off. Dr. Shabir, indeed.
OK, yes, use my shoulders for the next two bowling-weeks. As ever, yr collaborator in whatever it is we do.
love,
Alternate Juror #704847
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Message-Id: <9504191654.AA17219@sscnet.ucla.edu>
Date: Wed, 19 Apr 95 12:49:00 EDT
From: blitz <BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
Subject: dreamlet
To: krasniew@anthro.sscnet.ucla.edu
———————————————————————————————————————
Ahem:
I dreamed: you had installed, as a birthday present to me, a bit of software which allowed me to use my Macintosh as transportation. INcluded was a bicycle seat which fit on top of the SE. I would actually sit on my Mac and hit the Return button with my foot and off I'd go. You said, in the card, "right now, you can only go to South America."
How're you doing, kiddo? Have you done any more Drew-video toasting?
My "vacation" is evaporating in a sea of chores (hmm..a rather salinated mixed metaphor). HOw do people actually get away for real vacations? Is it really all a money thing? If I actually ever have money, will my life be easier?
love, M
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TO: BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU DATE: 04-21-95
TIME: 18:43
CC:
SUBJECT: dreamlet
PRIORITY:
ATTACHMENTS:
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i will write an extensive reply to your two messages later today or tomorrow but let me ask you this— why would people in Oklahoma go on tv to cry about their dead relatives, especially their kids— is this just a continuation of the Donahue culture? This is a way to deal with grief? I am shocked.
Anyway, i/we predicted long ago that civil war 2 was just around the corner and that it would be brought about by these internal isolationist groups. Why are we so surprised??
off to say goodbye to Richard, then I will be back to write ideas for your classes..
lk
=========================================================================
Message-Id: <9505020044.AA07978@sscnet.ucla.edu>
Date: Mon, 01 May 95 20:27:46 EDT
From: blitz <BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
Subject: laws
To: krasniew@anthro.sscnet.ucla.edu
———————————————————————————————————————
1. After spending most of a day swinging a hammer, you will perceive your own head as having grown larger.
2. In societies in which there are few trees, children rarely whisper.(alternate version: The volume of children's voices is inverselyproportional to the number of trees in the community: the fewer the trees, the louder the voices)
3. The more books you keep visible in bookcases throughout your house, the fewer, if any, you will ever re-read.
4. In cultures where winters are particularly cold, people create more elaborate hiding places within their homes than in cultures where winters are mild and/or brief.
5. The more a community shares deep religious commitments, the more frequently discussions of sex and sexuality will include the use of the word "interesting."
6. Two people are likely to have the same or similar dream if, during the course of a day, they said, coincidentally at the same time, at least one phrase of three or more words.
7. People think about some sort of weapon at least once each day.
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TO: BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU DATE: 05-02-95
TIME: 18:55
CC:
SUBJECT: laws
PRIORITY:
ATTACHMENTS:
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REPLY FROM: Krasniewicz, Louise ANTHRO
Return-Path: <BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
Message-Id: <9505020044.AA07978@sscnet.ucla.edu>
Date: Mon, 01 May 95 20:27:46 EDT
From: blitz <BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
Subject: laws
To: krasniew@anthro.sscnet.ucla.edu
1. After spending most of a day swinging a hammer, you will perceive your own head as having grown larger.
2. In societies in which there are few trees, children rarely whisper.(alternate version: The volume of children's voices is inverselyproportional to the number of trees in the community: the fewer the trees, the louder the voices)
3. The more books you keep visible in bookcases throughout your house, the fewer, if any, you will ever re-read.
4. In cultures where winters are particularly cold, people create more elaborate hiding places within their homes than in cultures where winters are mild and/or brief.
5. The more a community shares deep religious commitments, the more frequently discussions of sex and sexuality will include the use of the word "interesting."
6. Two people are likely to have the same or similar dream if, during the course of a day, they said, coincidentally at the same time, at least one phrase of three or more words.
7. People think about some sort of weapon at least once each day.
By Jove, I think you've got it! I especially like #2 (the first version) and #7. They are pithy and weird and may just be true!!! I like the ideas in #3, 5, 1 but they need the same condensed wording as the others. I'm afraid I will not be able to get into elaborations on ideas for your "Thrill" class at the moment but I do think you should use something from Oliver Sacks' new book (An Anthropologist on Mars) in one of your classes. It has cool stuff. I also though it would be interesting to look at the question of what it means to "get" something (like saying about men, they just don't "get it" when it comes to sexual harassment). Also, what does it take to get a joke? The list is actually long and elaborate, covering politics, religion, education, age etc.
OOpps, baby is about to cry. I am a believer in not stressing my child because I want him to grow up happy and secure— fat chance.
SOON
LOve
lk
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Message-Id: <9505030350.AA01282@sscnet.ucla.edu>
Date: Tue, 02 May 95 23:35:07 EDT
From: blitz <BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
Subject: Re: laws
To: "Krasniewicz, Louise ANTHRO" <Krasniew@anthro.sscnet.ucla.edu>
In-Reply-To: Your message of Tue, 02 May 95 19:13:00 PDT
———————————————————————————————————————
I have a bad bad headache but could not go to sleep without telling you how weird it all is... your post to me (even my fingers are aching) on the same day as my re-reading a long-ignored file I wrote to a former student on some stuff in her journal...in other words, today, at around 2 PM my time, I read (first time since writing it) the following:
———-
Laura (9/21/92): Ahab wanted one thing, really. To "get" Moby Dick. Not just to capture him. The hunt was as important,maybe more, than the project- ed outcome. I'd go so far as to argue that Ahab foresaw his own death at the "hands" (flippers?) of MD. But the point wasn't to avoid death nor to simply kill the White Whale, but to go on and on in that effort. I say Ahab wanted to "get" MD, and I mean the term "get" in several ways.
1. of course, he wanted to catch and kill Moby Dick.
2. he wanted to UNDERSTAND Moby Dick, to FATHOM him (pun intended) and his transcen-dance in the seas.
3. In Jewish law (this is not as far-fetched a beginning as you might think; Ishmael, after all, the protagonist of MD—is an Old Testament figure), a "get" is an official divorce and the Hebrew word "cut"— To obtain a get is to obtain rabbinical acknowledgement and permission for divorce— and, more significantly, it is to have the rabbi perform the cutting of the ketubah— the marriage document. I would argue, maybe coyly, that Ahab sought a "get" from Moby Dick— a way to cut his pathological tie to his pure, white, fierce, "bride."
Now why, you are/should be/might not even be asking, am I telling you this? Reading through your journals, I "get" a sense that you are trying to "get" to something, trying to "get" your life and its attendant loves and complexities. That is, you are trying to understand the leviathan that is your living experience and you are trying to make breaks from patterns in that life that you now perceive have become too large for, shall we say, comfort.
———————————
So, Louise, do you see the strangeness in all this/that? Rule: Although every day in every culture there are occasions in which scissors are necessary, fewer than half the world cultures actually possess scissors.
my head aches and aches...good night....love, Michael
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TO: BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU DATE: 05-08-95
TIME: 15:50
CC:
SUBJECT: Re: laws
PRIORITY:
ATTACHMENTS:
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shit- i get it—now only one of us has to be conscious at a time because we are thinking the same thing (though you seem to do it so much more elegantly). okay it is your turn to be...
i have spent the dat pacifying a distressed drew— no special reason for his angst—he just loves being held and cuddled. i have decuded not to put him in daycare for almost a year because i will never have the opportunioty to experience him again— how selfish but maybe he will benefit from it—or turn into an ax murderer who blames his mom.
i can no longerr remember what ideas i sent for your classes besides "getting it." i tol you about the laurie foos book "ex utero" and oliver sacks new thing, "an anthropologist on mars." both pretty cool from theire cover blurbs.
for thrills, it first occurs to be to do las vegas— the place where none of the thrills are "real" but where they can have devastating consequences (ie, you loseyour bucks). what does it mean that vegas has introduced artficial thrills—ie, virtual reality rides?
the thrill is gone baby, it's gone away for good....
i will send this before it crashes
lk
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Message-Id: <9505090554.AA03345@sscnet.ucla.edu>
Date: Tue, 09 May 95 01:50:28 EDT
From: blitz <BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
Subject: Re: laws
To: "Krasniewicz, Louise ANTHRO" <Krasniew@anthro.sscnet.ucla.edu>
In-Reply-To: Your message of Mon, 08 May 95 16:25:00 PDT
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Laws:
::: people hold their babies, rock them, sing to them, sit silently with them. . .and within 10 minutes are thinking of things other than their babies. ::: Staring at someone's feet will cause them to start moving. (this is completely true—- try it in, say, a waiting room). be sure to tell drew about his "uncle" michael...he'll need advance warning.
love, Michael
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TO: BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU DATE: 05-13-95
TIME: 17:05
CC:
SUBJECT: Re: laws
PRIORITY:
ATTACHMENTS:
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Howdy-
I have dutifully warned the Drewmeister that his Uncle Michael (you, not my brother) is a wonderfully creative, looney, fun and inspiring guy whom he should spend lotsa time playing with. He did not cry at this explanation so I took this as a good sign.
I find myself spending an inordinate amount of time thinking about my delivery room experiences. I understand this is a common way of dealing with the transition. I think maybe I don't want to forget the horrors that can be inflicted upon the human body. Happy Mother's Day!!!
The psychology of Thrills class might want to deal with vicarious thrills— why is it fun watching movies, for example, or watching someone else bungeejump!!
I have neglected my email and now have 24 messages to deal with. I shall
return when done..
love
lk
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Message-Id: <9505141507.AA05332@sscnet.ucla.edu>
Date: Sun, 14 May 95 10:57:22 EDT
From: blitz <BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
Subject: Re: laws
To: "Krasniewicz, Louise ANTHRO" <Krasniew@anthro.sscnet.ucla.edu>
In-Reply-To: Your message of Sat, 13 May 95 17:27:00 PDT
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H H AA PPPPPP PPPPPP Y Y
H H A A P P P P Y Y
HHHHHH AAAAAA PPPPP PPPPP Y Y
H H A A P P YYYY
H H A A P P Y
H H A A P P Y
Y
MOTHER'S DAY, LOUISEEE....
you shall be among the great ones...(already are, no doubts)
——
in my own dull gossip— have met someone interesting... works at JJC (cashier) and goes to school (not in any mblitz classes, thank goodness) and I don't know how old she is (oy!) but I'm hoping she's over 21! .. She's from Santa Domingo (with a wonderful Russian name, given to her because her parents liked it— Krupskaia....everyone calls her "Sky")
And so, today I've foregone the usual mother's day convergence at a diner where my siblings fete my mom with pancakes to spend part of the day Sky-ward—I'll keep my feet earthbound, however... I've got no good precedence to draw from in recent times....
There are days when I cannot, truly, remember how old I am.... it's not easy to feel infantile so much of the time!
goo goo,
love,
Michael
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Message-Id: <9505171700.AA27316@sscnet.ucla.edu>
Date: Wed, 17 May 95 12:54:17 EDT
From: blitz <BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
Subject: lawless
To: krasniew@anthro.sscnet.ucla.edu
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I have not yet been able to find yr first "laws" posting— have found the one where you reposted my first 7 laws...have looked through the various files/archives..there are a cuple more places to look, but I don't know....
I have a Sky report to give you... had a fine time w/her on Mother's Day (gulp...found out she's 21...w/hardly any of the irritating baggage of adolescence that I found excrutiating in Emily (previous youngster). Am I turning into that guy who runs off with middle-school kids?
Anyway, she's got an absolutely sure sense of the rightness of all this, which should probably be a warning, but it feels fine to me so far... and what the hell do I know?
M.
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TO: BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU DATE: 05-21-95
TIME: 21:40
CC:
SUBJECT: lawless
PRIORITY:
ATTACHMENTS:
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here is your sky-test for maturity and tolerance— tell her about our work together and see how she reacts. it is a weird enough thing that her reaction is a good indication of how much of your general strangeness she will tolerate in the future!!!
And no,
I have NOTNOTNOTNOT NOT forgeooten your birthday.
HAPPPPPPPPYYYYYY BBBBDDDDAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!
I could not sign on to this damn server again- such hightech nonsense. also I have been battling with Drew's growth spurt- he needs to feed every hour and I am sucked dry!!!! I will be sending your a treat via realmail as soon as things calm down here. Till then, enjoy your youth while you still have it... words of wisdom from a very old lady.
Lotsa love on the day your mama pushed you into the cruel world
lk
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Message-Id: <9505221001.AA29792@sscnet.ucla.edu>
Date: Mon, 22 May 95 05:56:01 EDT
From: blitz <BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
Subject: Re: lawless
To: "Krasniewicz, Louise ANTHRO" <Krasniew@anthro.sscnet.ucla.edu>
In-Reply-To: Your message of Sun, 21 May 95 21:57:00 PDT
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Thanks for the sky-test—- probably a good idea...and probably not entirely necessary. I have a feeling Sky would not find anything I do to be "too weird"— she has decided she trusts her heart and I'm in there. I must say she is persuasive. Anyway, maybe it's the case that one can meet someone very cool who does not need to be connected to the "work" but who IS caring enough (vs. Karen enough) to leave me to do that work unencumbered.
Of course, it would have been nice to meet someone rich. Ha. This is, of cousre, the problem people have with me, too. Destined for servitude.
The birthday was pretty fine...a little party, good foods, afterwards the evening with Sky...kinda romantical.
M. So now I'm 37. Is there
something I'm supposed to do?
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TO: BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU DATE: 05-23-95
TIME: 17:24
SUBJECT: 37 and counting
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You ask, now that you are 37, are you supposed to be doing something. Don't ask me— it is so many years since I was 37 I can't remember!!
Glad to hear that clear Skys are in the forecast. Does sound romantical, but what would I know...
We will not be in NYC on that Monday I told you but rather Tuesday and Wed. morn— can we get together???
I am pissed— I asked an editorial cartoonist if I could reproduce one of his works in my AmAnth article— they want to charge me $75!!!! Would you go ahead and do it anyway and claim "fair use" for academic purposes???
Drew is sucking me dry so I have no brain lubrication. Got a letter from Voyager— the CD-ROM is coming out second week in June— hopefully. I can bring it with me—do you have a place where we can look at it???
I am working on another interactive program on Halloween for this year's contest— maybe a waste of time but it keeps me active.
Off to make/eat/digest dinner..
bye
miss you lots
Louisek
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Message-Id: <9505241419.AA10932@sscnet.ucla.edu>
Date: Wed, 24 May 95 10:01:30 EDT
From: michael <BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
Subject: Re: 37 and counting
To: "Krasniewicz, Louise ANTHRO" <Krasniew@anthro.sscnet.ucla.edu>
In-Reply-To: Your message of Tue, 23 May 95 17:40:00 PDT
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hmmm....interesting question re: fair use. I'm thinking that I wouldn't have thought to get permission for, say an editorial column...or a letter to the editor...and so I'm not sure how I would have approached using a cartoon...seems to me it's no more or less protected than other fair-use material—- I also plead a fair degree of ignorance about the range covered by fair-use laws.
I guess if I were to sum it up, thus far (and, thus, I'm about to sum it up thus far, thusly), I'd say she is "smitten" and I'm "charmed." I'd add that it's probably much more likely a 21 yr old would be smitten whereas a 37 yr old geezer would be charmed.... still, "things" are pleasing. At a birthday party thrown for me and my friend Cal (whose b'day is 5/23), Sky was mighty comfortable with both Jody&Cal's babe and with another friend's very recently born kidlet.
Someone remarked to me, not knowing that I'm only recently Sky-ward, "she looks good with a baby, Michael!" I have already suggested to her that if she is ever planning on having a family, I'm not going to be the one to create one with her...she said "why are we talking about this, now?" (actually, more like "por que tu me lo estas discutiendo?"_) And I take her point, but the thing is, I can't think like a youngster anymore— I don't say, "whatever will be will be" because I don't want to make more kids and suspect that she imagines I could change my mind. Ah well...I can't be responsible for her thoughts, fer cryin out loud.
I'm beneath the steady dung-flow of exams and final papers/stories, etc. It'll take me weeks to dig out. Then I've got to jam, fast, to get ready to teach two summer curses (no, that's not a typo) while also planning fall courses and getting book-orders and readers assembled. And though it all, I'm supposed to be completing sections of a book with Mark H. so we can send our prospectus out... he and I have just completed a brief article/position paper for the journal Works and Days, which, from now on, will come out both on paper and electronically.
I have cut myself
no slack.
I have to cut myself to see if I'll bleed
words I need to
live by.
I have to cut myself in line so I'll get to the front faster.
I'll have to cut myself short
just to finish on time.
I'm cutting my time down to
lines, false-fronts, words and blood
to make a golem of it.
You and I have been friends for nearly 13 years. This is significant.
loots of loove,
Michael
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TO: BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU DATE: 06-01-95
TIME: 08:18
SUBJECT: tick tock
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Is that a biological clock I hear ticking—thoughts of more children? From one who has done it at an old age I say, "Whoa, horsey!"
Hey look, if Superman can break his neck, anything can happen.
I did indeed need to talk to you the other night but of course can no longer reconstruct the reason. Must have something to do with 13 years of friendship...
So Can we gather when we get to NYC, even for a short time. Drew needs to see you...
I was taken by your poetic offering at the end of the last message— one of the few and far between poems of anyone I could get fascinated by...
I am perpetually dotted........
We will talk soon
lk
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TO: AA MICHAEL DATE: 07-24-95
TIME: 22:11
SUBJECT: old dreams
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Hi
I never sent you this dream (had it on June 21st) and can only reconstruct parts of it but anyway:
Arnold is in a computer ad selling humvees. He says, Hi, I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger. Jamie Lee Curtis is in the back seat of the car. He turns to look at the crash dummy robots behind him including ones that lok like Lucy and Ricky Ricardo and their kids.
Later I come upon Arnold preparing for a movie. At one point I lay on a bed, someone lays on top of me and Arnold gets on top of them. I complain about being on the bottom of a sandwich.
Okay, now some real stuff. One of Richard's students went to a screening of Linda Hamilton's new tv movie and Arnold was there. It seems Ru Paul was also there and wanted a photo with Arnold who refused and had an argument with him/her.
That's it for now. Sorry I couldn't get back to you this weekend—it just buzzed by with no chance to call. I will try tomorrow.
love
lk
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Date: Tue, 25 Jul 95 14:49:17 EDT
From: blitz <BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
Subject: Re: old dreams
To: "Krasniewicz, Louise ANTHRO" <Krasniew@anthro.sscnet.ucla.edu>
In-Reply-To: Your message of Mon, 24 Jul 95 22:22:00 PDT
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so now you're going to try to convince me Ru Paul is not Arnold Schwarzenegger?
I'm amazed they were in the same place/time. I'm convinced that Arnold's next movie should be one in which he gets AIDS and then has to prove to the world that he remains fit—more fit than ever—by becoming, once again, the world's greatest, largest and most powerful body builder of all time.
Following the competition, for which we see him training, a la Rocky (that pussy) in Siberia — training which includes long healing sessions with the Dali Lama and various Tibetan Monks who teach him to chant. We see his old body building buddies variously supportive or repulsed by him— we learn, through innuendo and gesture that several hunks are gay and fear their own HIV status...and of course, we grow more and more curious and more and more tense with the anticipation of learing whetherArnold is, himself, gay or merely the victim of an errant transfusion— or worse, that he has contracted AIDS through procreative sex with Maria who, he (and we) learns has had a single one-night-stand affair with John Kennedy Jr. (who, like his father is now rumored to have been, may be bisexual).
The competition arrives; Arnold poses and wows the crowd, but it's mainly wows of compassion. Arnold runs backstage and bellows, "MARIA!! MARIA!!—" And soon, Maria S. is by his side, all is forgiven...and Arnold is determined to wow the crowd for what he still IS, rather than for what he has— and so he returns to the stage and demands that the three hunks out there climb onto his shoulders and back...he power lifts them (as in Pumping Iron) and his muscles ripple impossibly large. The audience is stunned. He is so massive, we can actually hear the popping of muscle fiber and skin as his tissues give way to the massive muscle beneath.
He wins. He wins us over again. He wins the girl. He wins the respect of the other body-builders who had been grumbling that his presence was stealing audience support from them— that he was merely there for sympathy. He wins the ultimate body building crown; he is joined on stage by his children and wife who are driven onto the platform in a humvee chauffered by a wizzened Joe Weider (who is wearing a fedora with what looks like a feather stuck in the band; upon closer inspection, it is a folded up article once bound for Muscle and Fitness that he had rolled up and stuck in his hat and forgotten about).
At the banquet afterwards, Arnold is the toast of the world— he sips champagne, he kisses girls and gives men and boys a manly handshake. Even Ru Paul is there, and in a conciliatory gesture, Arnold stands stoically as Ru Paul hugs him. For the camera, ARnold grins goofily, rolling his eyes. When the cameras pan away for a microsecond, ARnold hurls Ru Paul the entire length of the ballroom, the latter landing in the not-unhappy arms of Frank Columbo.
As the night gets more and more hyped, every camera and every reporter's eyes remain fixed on Arnold- so strong, so fit, so poweful, so beloved, and yet, mysteriously, so riddled with AIDS no one can understand how he can be conscious, let alone the World Body Building Champion.
The cameras follow him as the evening ends, the guests drive off, and Arnold and Maria return to their mansion in Los Angeles. Maria checks the children who have been put to bed by their nanny (played by Linda Hamilton) and tells the cook (played by Linda Hamilton's twin) to be sure to have breakfast ready by 7 AM when Arnold returns from his 10 mile run. Then she goes into the bathroom and emerges in a sexy negligee, standing in the doorway as ARnold— already stripped down to his body-builder's posing- underwear, grins. The voice-over, as though a thought in Arnold's head, is of his physician who had been interviewed at the banquet. As Arnold smiles lustily at Maria and as she gazes back at him with animal desire, we hear Dr. Krauthammer (played by Jeremy Irons) saying "it's a wonder he can stand at all— he's most likely in excrutiating pain 24 hours per day, but he simply ignores it. He is, in a sense, defying the pain and the disease to beat him. He is, quite literally, stronger than AIDS."
At that moment, as Maria slinks across the room, across the bed, and as Arnold steps from his place in front of their mirror to join Maria, his knees buckle and he collapses in agony. Maria's face registers terror. ARnold says, over and over, "I'm fine, I'm fine. It's nothing. It's just the AIDS...." but his voice is thin, he cannot rise, and Maria starts to shout in panic. The nanny and he cook rush in; they are wearing work out clothes because they had been doign their mandatory evening aerobics and weight tranining. As they lean down to lift Arnold, we see their sharply cut muscular arms flex and strain. Soon Arnold is on the king-sized bed, with Maria over him, anxious, loving. The nanny calls the doctor's private hotline— and in a split screen, the doctor awakens from his sleep, rushes over to a small table on which there is a red phone under a glass dome. The emergency light is flashing. "Yes!" the doctor says, knowing full well what this call is. "It's Arnold. Come now." the nanny intones, knowing full well that the doctor knows full well that it's time.
In the next scene, Arnold is in a large room in a hospital, surrounded by machinery and by the people who love him. Everyone is in shock, with deeply lined faces. Maria hovers near Arnold who, weakly, tells her it's time for her to wear the mask— but she refuses to put on this bit of protection, saying she'd rather die with him. He says, his voice audible, "da kinder, Maria, da kinder"— and she nods,knowing he is right. Outside the room, peering through the glass, are the nanny and the cook, each holding a child. Nancy Reagan looks in fondly, holding the hand of the third child. Maria puts on a mask, but kisses Arnold first, whispering "it's true, darling...I'm pregnant—" Arnold rallies a moment, smiling "yes?" Maria answers, "yes. Twins." Arnold laughs and looks at Danny deVito who gives him a game thumbs-up. Arnold coughs, the doctor immediately clears the room, saying "it won't be long, now."
In the next scene, Maria dozes in a chair by Arnold's bedside. She is wearing different clothes so we know she has been there several days... Arnold whispers "who are you? who are you? I don't know who you are." She awakens and goes to him. We are shocked to see he is now emaciated, with Arnold's face, but a frail body. In fact, this new ARnold is played by James Woods who is actually not wearing make up but has, instead, had millions of dollars of plastic surgery for "my man." Maria says, as she strokes a hollow cheek, "it's me, Arnold, it's me." Arnold turns slightly, licks his parched lips, and gasps, "you— are not you. You're me." His eyes close. He is dead. As the credits roll, we see the next year's body building competition, the winner a blond, aryan, ripped and pumped. He is saying he dedicates his win to ARnold— his hero, his idol, his one true love— and he says that he is not alone. That throughout the body building world, "thousands of us loved ARnold—as much as any wife, as much as any lover. And because we love him, and because we miss him, this, Arnold, is for you!" He holds up his trophy, the curtain comes down on which, in enormous letters, there is a photo image of Arnold at his greatest, with the caption:
A.ID.S.
ARNOLD "IMMUNO-DEFICIENT" SCHWARZENEGGER:
WE ALL LOVE YOU
More credits...the theme from Dr. Strangelove....fade...out.
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TO: BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU DATE: 08-01-95
TIME: 22:15
SUBJECT: Re: old dreams
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you are now totally wacked out. that was no screenplay you wrote, it was a dream I am sure I have had!!!! Maybe we should ask arnold if he will produce it.
No word yet on the Shoah foundation job— this is not a good sign that they are ignoring me and not contacting my references
more another time
lk
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Date: Wed, 02 Aug 95 12:35:51 EDT
From: blitz <BSMJJ@CUNYVM.CUNY.EDU>
Subject: opening
To: krasniew@anthro.sscnet.ucla.edu
|